it won’t be too long, Muslims are about to celebrate one of the most widely celebrated festivity in Islamic calender.
before the holy month comes to an end, the timing couldn’t be right to retrospect the past 3 weeks of what have we achieved so far, as we all are well informed, the purpose of fasting is not merely abstaining oneself from eating and drinking from dusk till dawn. there is more to observe than just that .
i would not be pretentious about this but i am not proud towards myself that i may have not fully take advantage of this promising month. sigh.
the good thing is, it’s never too late to reap blessings of Ramadhan, another week to go.
time shall not wait for us.
soon enough, Aidilfitri follow suit.
the anticipation to have Raya feast served on the table in the morning of it excites me.
i just , am lost seeking personal reasons to justify Aidilfitri. It is now become an overrated , bland , full with nosy makciks prying on your personal life , i can tell you by heart the houses i’m going to visit on Aidilfitri, just a repetition of last year, and the previous years.
seriously ? i just wish i am able to neglect all those .
i can only wonder when the misery deadline is, to come back home and sit tight in front of the tv watching hopeless local movies having a bowl of soto to myself.
it’s just that, i do not fancy socialising anymore, i mean within the family in particular. mingling with them creates uncomfortable atmosphere .
it does not caught me by surprise. at this age? they expect a boyfriend, a marriage , when all u really want is to eat up the abundant sumptuous meal on the table.
bet all of you too suffer like i do.
the merriment and joyous of raya, i cannot attempt faking a happy face no more
God help me this time, and again .
regards
dwq
dwq
Hello,
Been reading your blog silently – but your entry here – it strikes somewhere deep. When my mom was around – I dread hari raya. I dread her saying yes to the 30-man convoy calling to tell they are on the way. I dread the cheerfullness or faked cheerfullness – with the house tidied up and the gates thrown wide open inviting enough faked cheerful people come knocking saying hi.
4 years spending my raya without my mom – people forget you – and actually – i’m fine with it. I spent the entire 1st and 2nd raya throwing up garbage – one bag after another – and staying in the house letting HBO entertain me loudly without the need to do any of the beraya stuff.
Even my dad kinda forgotten me. But his other house has always been packed with guests during Raya, so little wonder there. And again – all this being alone – is actually fine with me.
But now that I’m living it – I wish I could take it back – wishing no one datang beraya. Even your uncles and aunts. But this year – my brother and his family of 6 datang beraya. Which is little wonder in itself – because I truly enjoyed it. The quiet celebration with family. Instead of the boisterous 4 cars convoy. My aunt and uncle and their 2 children cheered me up and gobbled what measly offerings which PNTM have bought on my behalf (which I truly appreciate) – and it was enough for me.
But no – I wish I didn’t ask for it back then. To beraya sorang2. I wish I had more courage to pergi beraya sorang2 back then like I did now. With a wider circle of family instead of the very small select few. It would have been good practice.
But yeah – you’re an adult now. You can decide to beraya with your mom and dad sahaja or even with yourself sahaja visiting your families. Especially those that matters. When you come alone as an adult – it will surely throw them aback – not expecting an adult (unless of course when you get married and procreate, which is when you get automatic license to call yourself an adult) in you to have risen.
In my opinion, go ahead beraya with your style. The adult style.
PS: Sorry. My comment is far longer than your entry. Certainly you can remove this. It’s just a response to your entry here anyway
hehe now that’s fairly half of my entry :p but no biggie lah. i wish things are easier for me, i wish i can go beraya my style but no can do, there’s so little room to negotiate when it comes to my father. his house, his rules. there u go.
frankly though wish i can break free and do my own things on raya, the way i imagine i would want it to be.
but year after year, my kinda raya is only valid and happening in my own head.
anyway, that aside, thank God for the raya feast, food just takes away my misery, and sort of an escapism from the typical bland raya .
thanks for the thought !