Seksualiti Merdeka bukan Seks Bebas

I have to write about SM somehow. It truly breaks my heart that the PDRM decided to threw a blanket ban on all of the programmes lined up for this year’s event  ! Such a shame, on u PDRM !

That was done without any due inspections on the event itself. unfortunately political ploy is what i suspect the banning was about. indeed it was true. for any events that go against the will of the Government that be, law instruments will come in handy on their favour. they somehow too will use race card, religion card to win the game.

do u notice the fate on SM banning now?

Seks Bebas, is utterly and apparently a FITNAH!

The Malay language media reports basically those on Govt-owned are imparting unfair reports and misleading the least . I have read that the Tamil news DO NOT cover about SM fiasco at all, and the Chinese news have sorted out the distortion within 3 days time .

I cannot help but wonder whether they have had read through the tentative / programmes before imparting the biggest fitnah ever on national television? Talking about irresponsible journalism .

In the same breath, those who spew hatred and are against the idea of SM, have u ever really physically present at any of the activities held by them?

If u were never there, i do not think your opinions are worthy of any cents at all.

It’s like you are discriminating against our own kind who are already a marginalised group, have u ever sit at the corner and thought about it before commenting relentlessly? Your single-minded minds are not helping the true objective of SM, for once to empower the marginalised group as us, the LGBT to not be afraid of being different , to not being afraid of standing up for yourself when u are being bullied in the school, in the university or even in your workplace, just because u are of different sexuality?

U can actually bear the facts the LGBTs are persecuted simply because sexually we are having no interests as against the opposite sex? So u are saying it’s okay they are virulently passing hatred against us, it is okay to be oppressed just because u dress like a tomboy, it’s okay i could not get the job because i’m an outed lesbian although i am eligible by merit .

Is it fair of a living as a second class citizen in your own country? It’s too bad we were born women in Malaysia, as lesbians women, we are now reduced to a third class citizen ? do not tell me u really do not bother about being discriminate against, by your gender, by your sexuality, no?

Looking at the history, if they were never women movements whom fought for women’s equality in the past, we women never would enjoy the privilege we benefit today from those women who have sacrificed their lives, their time and energy in the anticipation of a better future . By the same token , ( i took this from the SM wall ) it is a fact that if the blacks did not fight for their equal rights in the 60′s, there could never be a black US president.

Likewise, if event such as SM is always crushed when they are putting forward advocating for our very basic rights to be protected, how would u imagine the future would be?

I can only imagine that women would understand the struggle of the LGBTs only because women are the group of people that always likely to receive unfair treatments on the basis of gender differences.

Please know, the event was not just attended by the LGBT, there are many others who are not LGBTs, curious to find out about this marginalised people and who might be concern about their members of the family who might / happen to be LGBTs. The LGBTs appearance well, like myself was to further understand where do we stand in the society at large, ai felt belonged in the group because nobody saw me as different, ai was engaged in their activities , ai learned more about myself, about the LGBT ,  and also ai know it’s a cruel world against the LGBT, full of hatred and hypocrisy . SM was actually a platform to have a civilised discussion in open forums on taboo topics which we can never ever find on Malaysian tabloids. a forum where we can speak up, voice out our point of views, ask questions with regards to sexuality without fear and without being judged.

Only the LGBTs would understand, that everyday is a struggle for us, the SM came into the picture to acknowledge that we are not alone, we have each other, to advocate the ignorants and prejudices that we are here to stay.

Ai can truly be appease with the comments , even if the person does not agree to the event, as long as they actually present and attended the programme . When u are never really there to engage in the programmes , how can u say mean things about it? it’s almost like saying, yeah i never attended the party, i just read about it from the news, but i know they were smoking weeds, they must be.

Hypocrite much?

Like in 2010, i have to highlight one programme called the ‘coming out ‘ workshop. the workshop did not intend for the attendees to come out immediately to their family members soon as the programme ends,  NO. In fact, despite continuously having to bear shame all of your live because of the sexuality that u were born with, it encourages the LGBTs to be truthful to themselves and accept their sexuality with open hearts, knowing that the Almighty God created us all in different manners, forms , races, religions.

Not just that, the PT Foundations , among many of the collaborators, provide for free counsellings . The Bar Council provides for talks on human rights in general  as well as our constitutional rights, which i know many of us the laypersons are lacking of.

So, you, sitting at the comfort of your room, writing derogatory comments on an event u have no tad idea of its allabout, honestly they carry no values at all.

I hope by writing this entry would pass on some ideas unto u readers about the Seksualiti Merdeka. I cannot write in extra length because it is only fair that you come to the event yourself and experience the empowerment the event conveys on your own.

Unfortunately, yeah it has been banned.

Those who take the stand to remain silent against oppression are the oppressor themselves .

Thanks for reading , and for all we know, love will prevail !

dwq

siri putus cinta – being friends with the ex

 

Breaking up is never easy for anyone because it is usually painful process to bear especially after so much emotions and time are invested , even if it ends in good terms, drama free whatsoever, the person once mean the world to you is now quite a total stranger. This screams AWKWARD out loud!

However one fact if at all matters is that , some people intend to keep their exes in close proximity, although not as close as lover, enough as friends or to keep close contact witch each other . it’s tricky and , yeah tricky is the word.

Yours truly herself is still struggling with the idea of maintaining close contact with some of her ex. On one end, for the sake of putting in relateable arguments, I may feel a strong attraction towards the ex but at the same time trying to keep my ex in my life , even only as a friend. This doesn’t necessarily valid to each and every ex I ever had a relationship with though. on the other unpleasant end, some ex secured the ex title because they earned it, which also means, not feel like wanting to have any connection in any way possible , get lost and please don’t you ever contact me AGAIN.

The latter ought to be less complicated, she’s in one day, out the next day, case solved.

Case of the ex is everybody’s concern, unless u have not been in relationships much. At some point of post breakup u really are clueless as to what to do. The easiest option is to leave without a trace. If u find justifications as to why u ought to keep ur ex within friends zone, this begs the question :

what are you dealing with should u notwithstanding of the breakup would want to be friends with your ex?

A worthy reminder is, be prepare for an emotional rollercoaster ride for not many of us would want to genuinely admit, lesbians , many are dramaqueens.

U better make sure u are over the ex be very very sure there are no residues of feelings left, and you must have the least intention to leading them onto believing they still could score a chance, therefore avoid sexual or romantic topics and the temptations to flirt. In short, define the ‘friendship’ concept clearly , followed by metes and bounds of the ‘friendship’ concept agreed to.

Be sure the intentions to be friends are bona fide / good; not because u wish to torment them or prevent them from dating other people.  Send a friendly text message or call/text them on their birthday. Let them know your intention to be friends – real friends.

Assuming your ex isn’t interested in having a friendship with u, let her wish be your command, and leave with respect. You should go ahead with being friends if she is treating you with respect as u expect of any other friends, or else the time is probably not quite right to pursue friendship with them. You cant force a friendship with someone who doesn’t seek the same from you yeah?

Perhaps it is easier to come round if the ex is a straight girl, or does it? Or would it depends on how aggravating the breakup was. What’s your comment on that?

One thing for sure, that applies to me consistently is , time heals and helps to neutralize the feelings – bitter feelings or the pseudo feelings for the ex.

Lesbians, from my observations, like to be friends with their exes. A few legit reasons I could think of now is that, whats the point of holding grudges and create enemies when you have loved each other before, plus the lesbians community is very much a drop in the bucket. We would somehow bump into each other in any events, better handle with the awkwardness fast anyway. This is more like a practical reason to stay friends, cause come to think of it, how many places really in KL would u see lesbians frequently hang out? There’s always the probability of running into her, unless she moves to London, or marry a guy and cut all the lesbians connection, only then u are safe. Or else, think of a way to manage a friendship.

If you are the kind of person who bothers less about all the above, good for you. you save your time and energy to lurk into negotiating friendship with your ex. Hehe

Here’s something helpful I googled from the internet.

1. Before attempting any kind of reconciliation, take a 60 day ‘she-tox’. That’s what the authors of It’s Called a Break-up Because it’s Broken recommend, and it works. I don’t care if your lesbian bed death lasted longer than your sex life and you’ve been living more like flatmates than lovers, you need to take some headspace to get the relationship out of your system before you can start seeing her in a new light.
2. Move out as soon as possible. And if you meet someone else before you do, the answer to ‘My place or yours?’ is never yours.
3. If you’re going to stay friends, set a statute of limitations. If you’re going to stew over that time she missed your Dad’s birthday or her repeated failure to take the rubbish out on time, your relationship will fester. Get it off your chest early on – and don’t be surprised when she reveals that you weren’t the perfect girlfriend either.
4. When you start seeing someone else, make sure she finds out from you, not a mutual friend. And certainly not from Facebook – that’s just tacky. A quick email to say that there’s someone on the scene is all it takes. And speaking about mutual friends…
5. Don’t make your friends choose between you. If you’re going to trash your former sweetie, do it to someone who won’t feel like they’re taking sides.
6. Don’t make things worse for yourself. If you know you’re going to drunk-dial her, order the next Coke minus the vodka. Even if the friendship falls apart, you want her to remember the sassy, dignified woman you can be instead of the emotional mess with smeared mascara.
7. Respect each other’s boundaries. You may be used to telling her every thought that goes through your head, but remember those other friends we talked about? You’re going to need them.
8. Divide your possessions like grown-ups, not toddlers. It may be tempting to steal the screws for her bookcase in a fit of petty rage just because she got to keep the cats, but don’t do it. Even though her increasingly frustrated Twitter updates as she tries to put it together will be funny as hell.
9. Make a list of reasons why you’re better off apart. Because when your friendship starts going from strength to strength, it’s tempting to wonder whether you’ve made a mistake. And if it turns out that you’re both crazy enough about each other to try again, you’re going to be really glad you followed points 1-8: if you move back in together, you’ll need that bookcase.

happy reading ladies !

regards

dwq